How do you respond to difficult situations? Do you focus on what’s wrong or do you look for solutions? What questions do you ask yourself when the going gets rough?
In the past when things weren’t going the way I wanted, I’d stamp my metaphorical feet and ask: ‘Why Me?’ ‘What’s wrong with me? ‘Why don’t things ever work out for me?’
These questions always generated negative answers such as: ‘You’re not smart/skilled/nice enough to succeed.’ ‘You don’t deserve to be happy/successful/liked’. ‘You always draw the short straw, why should things be different this time.’
These answers always left me feeling angry, frustrated and disappointed. They didn’t give me the tools I needed to move beyond the situation I was struggling with. Until recently I hadn’t realized how much these questions had disempowered me. These questions focus on failure, lack and loss.
I’m learning to ask a different set of questions – ones that empower me and show me how to move forwards.
The five questions I now ask myself when things aren’t the way I want them to be are:
Asking these five questions has completely changed my life. They have transformed me from victim to creator. These questions have given me a framework for dealing with every challenge or difficult situation I face. When I make mistakes, I’m able to learn from them and when things don’t turn out as I’d hoped through no fault of my own, they empower me to keep pushing towards the goals I want.
Can I encourage you to spend time finding answers to these five question when you feel disappointed, frustrated or angry. Let these five questions change your life.
Image by Josh Tidbury